Neng in Memory

As I am writing this, I am shivering a little bit. I can no longer hold my tears. And my nose is runny. And I'm sorry if I am disgusting you.

Last Sunday, while watching TV, my cat, Neng was playing with its favourite toy, Gloria. Gloria had a voice. Each time it was touched, it would say, "Hello. I know that's right". Thats what made Neng so passionate to throw Gloria around and chasing after it. That noon, she slept the whole day. At night, she sleeps with me.

The next day, when I woke up to go to work, she too woke up. I fed her, and left for work. Hours passed. When I got home at 7pm, I saw her at the gate breathing hard. Suffocating. I brought her inside to check on her. She could walk, but after a few steps, she laid down. Her legs seemed weak. I noticed her lower torso was sunken. I  automatically suspected her to be hit by a motorbike, or maybe a car. She started pooping a lot. However, she was not bleeding, nor had any physical injuries. My sister told me that Neng had just woken up from her sleep, still healthy, and that 5 minutes later, I came in the house bringing Neng in an unhealthy condition.

On Tuesday, Neng's condition got worse. She had salivas dripping under her chin. So my dad took her to the vet for surveillance.

On Wednesday after work, I rushed to the vet to visit Neng. She seemed stable. She was still puffing for air, but stable. Even the doctor said she looks better than the day before. The doctor then brought me to show Neng's x-ray result. He first showed and explained me an x-ray of a fit cat. I nodded understandingly. The moment he put Neng's x-ray on the light beam, my tears ran down unknowingly. Here's the theory: Neng was rolled over on the tummy. All her internal organs within her lower torso was pushed to her upper torso. Squishing her lungs and heart, making it difficult for Neng to breathe normal. Neng was scheduled for surgery the next day. The doctor explained to me what will actually happen during the surgery. Which is, to try to bring down a few organs so that the upper torso would have air and space for the heart and lungs to function. He also reminded me that it was a high-risk procedure. I accepted the fact. The doctor was an experienced veterinarian. Unfortunately, it cracked me when he said that Neng was one of the most severe cases he has ever handled. 

An x-ray of a normal cat. 

Thursday. The day of surgery. The doctor performed the surgery in the morning. He wanted to inform my dad the result right after surgery via phone, but my dad insisted to wait til evening. After everyone's gone back from work. For everyone to visit Neng and to know her condition together. That evening, my dad rushed from Putrajaya, my mom from Taman Maluri, my brother from Pandan Indah, my sister from Cheras Baru, and I from Jalan Duta, all for the sake to visit Neng. The doctor brought us to his room to explain Neng's condition. He told us the surgery was a success; shifting few organs downward her lower torso. However, the lungs were still not functioning. In fact, worse. We were told, if Neng's lung had function by at least 30%, she may have had hope to survive. But in her condition, her lungs were only functioning by less than 5%. It is here that I can no longer hold my tears. I tried distracting myself by looking at posters, reading the advertisements and trying to praise the cute cat figurine on the doctor's shelf. But all that I did was useless. My ears were still focused to every word the doctor was saying. Later, the doctor led us to the surgery room. I insisted to stay in the doctor's room. Hearing Neng's condition from the doctor's mouth was enough for me to imagine Neng's sufferings. I wouldn't want to have the last picture of Neng in my head with her having tubes down her throat. I'm happy enough to have the last picture of her yesterday being stable. 

This is my last picture with Neng

Now we'll never get to see Neng watch football, nor trying to catch the ball with her cute paws anymore.

Neng was also my dad's favourite cat in the house. Every time my dad called out her name, she'd run to him. My sister and I loved playing with her. It's a shocking loss for us. One day she was climbing and scratching her nails on the sofa, playing with her toy Gloria, playing with my grandma's potpourris, and wrestling with her mother. And the next day, she's gone forever. 

Well, all living things will eventually die. Neng was destined to go to the afterlife today. We also had to bury Neng together with her toy, Gloria. It's hard enough to accept her loss, and we just could not stand seeing things that remind us of her. At least not now. Anyways, I'm just glad God has given me the chance to get to know Neng, even for a sweet 7 months. To recall, it was me who celebrated the delivery of Neng and her siblings on Oct.26 last year. She may be gone forever in our eyes. But never in our hearts. 

P/S: One of our cats, Mandy has just delivered her kittens. Did Neng sent me her replacement for our loss to her? I don't think so. Neng shall always be Neng.